Disillusionment

I have come to a stage or maybe another one point in my life, lately; i have begun to see every little motivation, desire and incentive from the perspective of a 3rd party that was aware of all these things, i was also weilding deaper insight to perceive more into the of not just myself but of other people's affairs, functioning and emotions . The more i examined and deconstructed myself to understand this new found perception and insight i started to spiral deeper and deeper into a depressing sense of dread. this feeling would try and take hold by the way nothing would seem real or really worth any value, nothing sent better or worse it all just made sense to myself in the way that all these things i was doing were results my inhibitions and ambitions thus there was to much to comprehend i felt awkward and uneasy at the result of what i would do, no matter what the purpose was, this also reflected severe nervousness in my dealings with society, while creating the illusion of separateness in my mind.
In this illusion or disillusion i started to have different views on what seemed common functions and truths in society that are vital for the control of the masses of people. These All have both Figurative and emotional connotations
Examples Include

• Money as we know it only has value because everyone agrees on it, yet the few 'elite' control the worlds economy
• The Purpose of Such Myths as Jesus Christ, The Easter Bunny, Santa clauses, The Tooth Fairy all act as a cognitive and imaginative excersizes for a child to become programmed in what can perceived detrimental ways. The existance of these only narrow themselves to a specific day or period of a year creates the misconception that miracles and the clearly imaginitive are only definded so amazing and sublime that it is deemed realistic for that one day in the childs mind... the realiasation of such truth then limits there brain from such whole hearted and innocent beleive or blind faith in something as such.....
• -The Corporate 'perverting' of these events and the effect it has on our society of materialism and individualism... what does this do our humanisation of need to feel in harmony and rythm with everything, what does this do to our ego? is this ego our own or is it influenced by society so we can fit in with the social mechanism...
  

The systems needed for this current society to operate begun to become detached from there emotional connotations and concepts i had presumed to be objective started to appear subjective.